Episode 26: It’s not the Circumstance’s Fault
January 31, 2023
Where to Listen:
26. It’s Not The Circumstance’s Fault
Episode Summary:
It can feel disempowering when your emotional state is dependent on external circumstances or people’s behaviors that are completely outside of your control. But, when you start to bring awareness and acceptance to your thoughts and intentionally shift the narrative, your lived experience can completely change.
Show Notes:
When you’re feeling any sort of emotion, how often do you attribute that feeling to something outside of yourself? Most of us do this often and aren’t even aware of it.
It can feel disempowering when your emotional state is dependent on external circumstances or people’s behaviors that are completely outside of your control. But, when you start to bring awareness and acceptance to your thoughts and intentionally shift the narrative, your lived experience can completely change.
This process isn’t meant to promote toxic positivity or bypass yourself. Rather, I invite you to practice choosing different truths that already exist within you. When you do this, you can focus your energy on the areas that you can actually control, like your thoughts and beliefs.
My challenge for you this week is to try this technique the next time you’re blaming something outside of yourself for how you’re feeling. I share some techniques in the episode to recognize patterns and create intentional solutions. I’d love to hear from you if you try it out ー DM me on Instagram and let me know!
Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or on your favorite podcast platform.
Topics Covered:
-
Examples of how common it is to look outside of yourself to create your feelings
-
Why trying to exert more control over a situation doesn’t typically work
-
Liberating yourself from the stories that keep you stuck
-
My four-step process for emotional empowerment
-
A simple way to test whether a situation or your thoughts are creating how you feel
Resources Mentioned:
Special Offer:
-
Download my free guide to help change that habit that you just can’t seem to quit
Follow Me:
-
Visit my website: ceceliabaummandryk.com
-
Connect on Instagram: @ceceliabmandryk
About Your Host
I’m Cecelia, and I am passionate about helping people live the life they want to live and feel how they want to feel in their life. We do this together using mindset tools, nervous system regulation, and curious inquiry. I know that enjoying your life, feeling calm and even joyful is available to you.
If you’re ready to start right now, grab a recent workshop replay here on creating momentum.
Personally, I manifest in many ways- partner, mother, coach, sister, friend, daughter, citizen, feminist. I live with my husband and children way downeast Maine on a little bridge-connected island (after spending my first 35 years in cities). It’s beautiful here with the ocean and the wind.
I help my clients make big and small changes in life one step at a time.
No matter what’s happening in your life right now, I know you can feel different. I know that by working with your brain and nervous system, you can feel calm, content, joyful, AND you can still go after the big and small goals in your life (getting there will just feel different).
This process is simple and approachable.
You’re probably thinking- but it won’t work for me. I’ve tried it all or I was recently diagnosed with ADHD or I’m too old. But I promise, if you’re open to it, this work is not only transformative but suited for so many different kinds of people and brains.
Recent Episodes of Calmer Conversations:
Episode 14: Life is a Choice
Life is a Choice Episode Summary: One of the coaching principles that really changed my life was understanding that I have complete authority over the choices that I make. In this episode, I walk you through a quick exercise to illustrate this concept and share what happened in my life when I started to take…
Tune InEpisode 13: Two Things You (probably) Do
13. Two Things You (Probably) Do Episode Summary: There are two things that you probably do that are keeping your experience of happiness smaller than maybe it could be in your life. The first one is engaging with thoughts and beliefs that don’t serve you and the second one is being unwilling to feel certain…
Tune InEpisode 12: The Foundation of Happiness
12. The Foundation of Happiness Episode Summary: I consider the relationship you have with yourself to be the foundation of happiness. It determines everything that you create in your life and how you approach the world. In today’s episode, I break down what it might look like if your self-concept leaves you feeling stuck or…
Tune InEpisode 11: Happiness is a Feeling
Happiness is a Feeling Episode Summary: Happiness is a feeling that stems from the beliefs that you have in your life. We often think that how we feel is related to outside circumstances, but the truth is that the thought that occurs between an external event and our feeling about it is responsible for our…
Tune InEpisode 10: Happiness doesn’t come from Being Perfect
10. Happiness Doesn’t Come From Being Perfect Episode Summary: Striving for perfection is a behavior that is entirely possible to unlearn, and I’m living proof of it. Perfectionism is related to the thought and belief that you must execute your life flawlessly to be happy, lovable, worthy, or even a good and acceptable person. So…
Tune InEpisode 9: Don’t Listen to Everything Your Brain Tells You
9. Don’t Listen to Everything Your Brain Tells You Episode Summary: The first thought you have is not the most true thoughtーit’s just the thought you’re used to having. On today’s episode, I explain how the different parts of your brain work together to keep you safe, but how that doesn’t always lead to truth…
Tune InEpisode 8: How People Pleasing Gets in the Way of Happiness
8. How People Pleasing Gets in the Way of Happiness Episode Summary: The term “people-pleasing” is pretty ironic because at the end of the day, it’s more about trying to manipulate other people and control how they act or what they think about you. It’s our primitive brain’s way of staying safe and avoiding tough…
Tune InEpisode 7: How to be Happy in your Relationships
How to be Happy in Your Relationships Episode Summary: Where are you requiring that people act in certain ways so that you can feel happy and secure about your relationship? Join me on today’s episode as I dig into how to build healthier, happier connections. Show Notes: Where are you requiring that people act in…
Tune InEpisode 6: Imposter Syndrome
6. Imposter Syndrome Episode Summary: On today’s episode, I share the story of how I stumbled into the field of geology and struggled with severe imposter syndrome for many years. I discovered that we already contain everything we need to change our belief systems and rewrite the story of belonging. It’s entirely possible to feel…
Tune InEpisode 5: Why Positive Thinking Doesn’t work (for most of us)
5. Why Positive Thinking Doesn’t Work (For Most Of Us) Episode Summary: Happiness is often on the same playing field as positivity, but positive thinking usually leads to feelings of shame or disappointment. What I like to practice instead is shifting to a place of neutrality in an effort to take away the inherent judgment…
Tune In