Episode 8: How People Pleasing Gets in the Way of Happiness

January 24, 2023

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Calmer+Conversations with Cecelia Mandryk

8. How People Pleasing Gets in the Way of Happiness

Episode Summary: 

The term “people-pleasing” is pretty ironic because at the end of the day, it’s more about trying to manipulate other people and control how they act or what they think about you. It’s our primitive brain’s way of staying safe and avoiding tough feelings, like disappointing someone or making them angry.

Show Notes:

The term “people-pleasing” is pretty ironic because at the end of the day, it’s more about trying to manipulate other people and control how they act or what they think about you. It’s our primitive brain’s way of staying safe and avoiding tough feelings, like disappointing someone or making them angry. 

Because it’s something that’s so ingrained in our biological makeup and social conditioning, getting out of the people-pleasing feedback loop isn’t easy. Luckily, though, it’s entirely possible. The rewards that await you on the other side, like contentment, authenticity, and your own happiness are worth doing the thought work around your values. 

I’m challenging you to assess your beliefs, feel the feelings, and get really curious about where your patterns come from in order to come home to yourself. There’s a version of you that makes decisions based on what makes you happy, and does it unapologetically and guilt-free. Listen in to learn how you can tap into that mindset. 

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or on your favorite podcast platform. 

Topics Covered:

  • What people pleasing looks like on a macro and micro level 

  • Common conditioning that so many of us experience around suppressing our true desires and needs 

  • Why it’s so important to address the underlying thoughts and feelings from our primitive brain

  • Developing the skill of feeling your feelings and acknowledging your thoughts

  • Questions you can ask yourself to get really clear on your relationship to people pleasing 

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About Your Host

I’m Cecelia, and I am passionate about helping people live the life they want to live and feel how they want to feel in their life. We do this together using mindset tools, nervous system regulation, and curious inquiry. I know that enjoying your life, feeling calm and even joyful is available to you.

If you’re ready to start right now, grab a recent workshop replay here on creating momentum.

Personally, I manifest in many ways- partner, mother, coach, sister, friend, daughter, citizen, feminist. I live with my husband and children way downeast Maine on a little bridge-connected island (after spending my first 35 years in cities). It’s beautiful here with the ocean and the wind.

I help my clients make big and small changes in life one step at a time.

No matter what’s happening in your life right now, I know you can feel different. I know that by working with your brain and nervous system, you can feel calm, content, joyful, AND you can still go after the big and small goals in your life (getting there will just feel different).

This process is simple and approachable.

You’re probably thinking- but it won’t work for me. I’ve tried it all or I was recently diagnosed with ADHD or I’m too old. But I promise, if you’re open to it, this work is not only transformative but suited for so many different kinds of people and brains.

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