Episode 5: Why Positive Thinking Doesn’t work (for most of us)
January 24, 2023
Where to Listen:
5. Why Positive Thinking Doesn’t Work (For Most Of Us)
Episode Summary:
Happiness is often on the same playing field as positivity, but positive thinking usually leads to feelings of shame or disappointment. What I like to practice instead is shifting to a place of neutrality in an effort to take away the inherent judgment and inaccessibility of false positivity. On today’s episode, I explore the nuances of positive thinking, share examples of what toxic positivity looks like in action, and explain how to get out of that cycle.
Show Notes:
Happiness is often on the same playing field as positivity, but positive thinking usually leads to feelings of shame or disappointment. What I like to practice instead is shifting to a place of neutrality and using a ‘thought ladder’ technique to eventually get to a place where I feel genuine contentment. On today’s episode, I explore the nuances of positive thinking, share examples of what toxic positivity looks like in action, and explain how to get out of that cycle.
How many times have you heard phrases like “fake it ‘til you make it” or “put on a happy face”? There’s an inherent judgment and inaccessibility to masking your hard-to-feel emotions, and I believe that it actually does more harm than good. When you try to embody happiness without truly feeling it, you start to bypass and gaslight yourself.
I break down my go-to techniques for processing emotionally challenging situations and finding a sense of peace. I get into the dangers of glossing over complex issues and also illustrate times in my personal life where this principle has come up. Listen in to learn more about how positive thinking isn’t always the solution to improving your mindset.
Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or on your favorite podcast platform.
Topics Covered:
-
The difference between positive psychology and positive thinking
-
How demonizing negative emotions actually keeps us from being happy
-
Recognizing when you’re relying on false positivity
-
Noticing bodily shifts when you practice neutrality
-
Rethinking positive affirmations
Special Offer:
-
Jumpstart your awareness and join me for my free Feel Your Feelings training: ceceliabaummandryk.com/freetraining
Follow Me:
-
Visit my website: ceceliabaummandryk.com
-
Connect on Instagram: @ceceliabmandryk
About Your Host
I’m Cecelia, and I am passionate about helping people live the life they want to live and feel how they want to feel in their life. We do this together using mindset tools, nervous system regulation, and curious inquiry. I know that enjoying your life, feeling calm and even joyful is available to you.
If you’re ready to start right now, grab a recent workshop replay here on creating momentum.
Personally, I manifest in many ways- partner, mother, coach, sister, friend, daughter, citizen, feminist. I live with my husband and children way downeast Maine on a little bridge-connected island (after spending my first 35 years in cities). It’s beautiful here with the ocean and the wind.
I help my clients make big and small changes in life one step at a time.
No matter what’s happening in your life right now, I know you can feel different. I know that by working with your brain and nervous system, you can feel calm, content, joyful, AND you can still go after the big and small goals in your life (getting there will just feel different).
This process is simple and approachable.
You’re probably thinking- but it won’t work for me. I’ve tried it all or I was recently diagnosed with ADHD or I’m too old. But I promise, if you’re open to it, this work is not only transformative but suited for so many different kinds of people and brains.
Recent Episodes of Calmer Conversations:
Episode 28: Let’s Talk About Love
Let’s Talk About Love Episode Summary: It’s Valentine’s Day! And I’m going to give you some truths and myths about love. Love can be messy, and love can be carefree bliss. But before we dive into the deep end, I have a personal and professional update to share with you. Show Notes: It’s Valentine’s Day!…
Episode 27: Your Relationship with You
Episode Summary: In this episode, I unpack what it means to have a relationship with yourself and share some strategies to foster a more loving connection. Show Notes: When you’re able to accept and love yourself for who you are in the present moment, feelings like happiness, joy, and contentment come a lot easier. There’s…
Episode 26: It’s not the Circumstance’s Fault
26. It’s Not The Circumstance’s Fault Episode Summary: It can feel disempowering when your emotional state is dependent on external circumstances or people’s behaviors that are completely outside of your control. But, when you start to bring awareness and acceptance to your thoughts and intentionally shift the narrative, your lived experience can completely change. Show…
Episode 25: Working with Self-Sabotage
25. Working with Self-Sabotage Episode Summary: Self-sabotage is when people do or don’t do things that block their success and prevent them from accomplishing their goals. It’s not about circumstances, but rather the active choices we make to resist growth. In today’s episode, I break down why we self-sabotage, the four most common ways that…
Episode 24: Connecting with Your Future Self
24. Connecting with Your Future Self Episode Summary: In this episode, I dive into what I mean when I talk about ‘future self’ and share questions to guide conversations with that version of you. I also explain how connecting to future you is a great tool for creating happiness and joy in your life. Show…
Episode 23: Why Can’t I …..
23. Why Can’t I… Episode Summary: Your thoughts and feelings drive your action. Once you can really identify and articulate what you’re experiencing, you can unlock all of these different elements of your life that have otherwise felt inaccessible. In this episode, I share different modalities that can be helpful in this process and unpack…
Episode 22: How to Set a Goal
22. How to Set a Goal Episode Summary: I have a five-step framework for setting goals that works with your brain and nervous system to create sustainable change. The reason why so many people have trouble meeting their New Year’s resolutions is because they rely on shaming and judging themselves to get there. But, what…
Episode 21: Why Celebrating Is Important
21. Why Celebrating Is Important Episode Summary: Do you allow yourself a moment to acknowledge where you are today and how far you’ve come? If you’re anything like I used to be, it might feel awkward, even challenging, to do that. In this episode, I explain why celebration might be hard for you, why it’s…