Episode 13: Two Things You (probably) Do
January 24, 2023
Where to Listen:
13. Two Things You (Probably) Do
Episode Summary:
There are two things that you probably do that are keeping your experience of happiness smaller than maybe it could be in your life. The first one is engaging with thoughts and beliefs that don’t serve you and the second one is being unwilling to feel certain feelings. In this episode, I illustrate examples of how these concepts can show up in your life and explain how you can start to shift out of the narratives that are keeping you stuck.
Show Notes:
There are two things that you probably do that are keeping your experience of happiness smaller than maybe it could be in your life. The first one is engaging with thoughts and beliefs that don’t serve you and the second one is being unwilling to feel certain feelings. In this episode, I illustrate examples of how these concepts can show up in your life and explain how you can start to shift out of the narratives that are keeping you stuck.
For many of us, our inner-dialogue can convince us of anything. Even though our thoughts might not be our reality, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. When our thoughts and beliefs feel like facts, they become so ingrained that it becomes difficult to question them. I break down two examples of this concept that are really prevalent in our society and share how we can start to reframe those thought patterns.
The other thing that I’ve noticed a lot of my clients struggle with is avoiding the hard-to-feel feelings and creating buffers around them. Everyone has the ability to intentionally create safety in their nervous system and body, but it can be an uncomfortable experience. It requires a level of self-awareness and a willingness to work through limiting beliefs. Hopefully with the examples that I share in this episode, you can see that it’s entirely possible and worth the effort.
Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or on your favorite podcast platform.
Topics Covered:
-
Imagining what would happen in your life if your thought and beliefs aligned with how you wanted to feel
-
Why action plans don’t work (and what to do instead)
-
What happens when you start to actually feel your feelings
-
Why shaming and judging yourself doesn’t work for creating sustainable change in your life
-
Tools to increase your ability to feel discomfort and process feelings
Resources Mentioned:
-
Interested in small group coaching? I have 10 spots available for a 16-session program that’s running from November through mid-March. If you’re interested in hearing more, send me an email at ceceliabmandryk@gmail.com and we’ll schedule a time to chat and see if you’re a good fit for this group.
Special Offer:
-
Jumpstart your awareness and join me for my free Feel Your Feelings training: ceceliabaummandryk.com/freetraining
Follow Me:
-
Visit my website: ceceliabaummandryk.com
-
Connect on Instagram: @ceceliabmandryk
About Your Host
I’m Cecelia, and I am passionate about helping people live the life they want to live and feel how they want to feel in their life. We do this together using mindset tools, nervous system regulation, and curious inquiry. I know that enjoying your life, feeling calm and even joyful is available to you.
If you’re ready to start right now, grab a recent workshop replay here on creating momentum.
Personally, I manifest in many ways- partner, mother, coach, sister, friend, daughter, citizen, feminist. I live with my husband and children way downeast Maine on a little bridge-connected island (after spending my first 35 years in cities). It’s beautiful here with the ocean and the wind.
I help my clients make big and small changes in life one step at a time.
No matter what’s happening in your life right now, I know you can feel different. I know that by working with your brain and nervous system, you can feel calm, content, joyful, AND you can still go after the big and small goals in your life (getting there will just feel different).
This process is simple and approachable.
You’re probably thinking- but it won’t work for me. I’ve tried it all or I was recently diagnosed with ADHD or I’m too old. But I promise, if you’re open to it, this work is not only transformative but suited for so many different kinds of people and brains.
Recent Episodes of Calmer Conversations:
you’re trying to change your behavior. that’s the problem.
You’re trying to change your behavior. That’s the problem. Most people approach change backwards. It’s not that our intentions are bad- we want to change. It’s just that we place our attention on the wrong thing. In order to change behavior, we focus on behavior. Which seems to make sense. Until you learn a little…
you can’t logic your way into change
Tell me if you’ve been here. You know what to do. It makes logical sense in your brain. You know it’s the path to better fitness or deeper connection or fulfilling professional dreams. But then in the moment you do the opposite. You do something that makes no logical sense. Your behavior goes against your…
You Are Not Your Behavior
Change Happens with Curiosity, Not Shame. The moment you decide your behavior means something bad about you, curiosity disappears. And curiosity is the skill that actually allows behavior to change. Most of us learned early that bad behavior meant something bad about us. Our caregivers met our worst moments with judgment, punishment, and disconnection. So…
you are not a cat
why awareness alone won’t create the change you’re looking for — and what comes next Here’s what most personal development gets wrong. It treats you like a cat. Most of what we ‘know’ about behavior- the habits, the environmental design, the reward and punishment systems, the accountability networks- is built on the same foundation as…
the Post-Insight Plateau
You’ve Done the Work. So Why Aren’t You Different Yet? I’ve been where you are. Sitting there with a beautiful new journal and the best of intentions. Hoping, with a side of desperation, that this time it will be different. You are not someone who hasn’t tried. You’ve put in the work. Real work. The…
You’re not broken. You’re between phases.You’re
There’s a quiet, disorienting moment that happens in long-term self-development. It’s the moment when you understand yourself. You can name your patterns. You can trace them back to childhood, to relationships, to specific memories. You can explain exactly why you react the way you do. You’ve had the breakthroughs at the retreat. You’ve sat on…
awareness won’t save you (and why that’s ok)
I figured something out on a dog walk the other day. Personal awareness is like GPS. GPS is incredibly useful. It knows where you are. It can show you multiple routes. It even warns you about traffic. But GPS isn’t a car.And it can’t drive. You still have to turn the wheel and press the…
