Episode 10: Happiness doesn’t come from Being Perfect

January 24, 2023

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Calmer+Conversations with Cecelia Mandryk

10. Happiness Doesn’t Come From Being Perfect

Episode Summary: 

Striving for perfection is a behavior that is entirely possible to unlearn, and I’m living proof of it. Perfectionism is related to the thought and belief that you must execute your life flawlessly to be happy, lovable, worthy, or even a good and acceptable person. So many of us subscribe to the myth that once you’ve achieved perfection, you’ll be happy. However, perfection is objectively impossible. 

Show Notes:

Striving for perfection is a behavior that is entirely possible to unlearn, and I’m living proof of it. Perfectionism is related to the thought and belief that you must execute your life flawlessly to be happy, lovable, worthy, or even a good and acceptable person. So many of us subscribe to the myth that once you’ve achieved perfection, you’ll be happy. However, perfection is objectively impossible. 

Perfectionism brings up a lot of feelings of judgment for yourself and others. I share examples of what perfectionism looks like in action and break down how it causes you to act in ways that are out of alignment with your goals. By holding yourself and others to unattainable standards, you set yourself up for disappointment. 

But, recovering from perfectionism doesn’t mean that you can’t still perform at a high standard. By building self-awareness and letting go of perfection, you can operate from a place of acceptance instead of fear, which not only leads to better outcomes, but also a happier mindset. 

I round out today’s conversation by sharing reflection questions that I find helpful for getting to the root cause of your perfectionism and starting the work on dismantling those beliefs. 

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or on your favorite podcast platform. 

Topics Covered:

  • Understanding how perfectionism is celebrated in our society 

  • Recognizing if you have patterns of staying in the planning phase and procrastinating because of your impossibly high standards 

  • Feeling unlovable and unworthy when someone witnesses something you consider to be imperfect 

  • What happens to your nervous system when you’re constantly striving for perfection 

  • Simple, tangible ways to break perfectionist tendencies 

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About Your Host

I’m Cecelia, and I am passionate about helping people live the life they want to live and feel how they want to feel in their life. We do this together using mindset tools, nervous system regulation, and curious inquiry. I know that enjoying your life, feeling calm and even joyful is available to you.

If you’re ready to start right now, grab a recent workshop replay here on creating momentum.

Personally, I manifest in many ways- partner, mother, coach, sister, friend, daughter, citizen, feminist. I live with my husband and children way downeast Maine on a little bridge-connected island (after spending my first 35 years in cities). It’s beautiful here with the ocean and the wind.

I help my clients make big and small changes in life one step at a time.

No matter what’s happening in your life right now, I know you can feel different. I know that by working with your brain and nervous system, you can feel calm, content, joyful, AND you can still go after the big and small goals in your life (getting there will just feel different).

This process is simple and approachable.

You’re probably thinking- but it won’t work for me. I’ve tried it all or I was recently diagnosed with ADHD or I’m too old. But I promise, if you’re open to it, this work is not only transformative but suited for so many different kinds of people and brains.

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