why can’t I get it together?

Ever feel like you can’t get it together?

From the outside your life looks pretty good. You show up. You’re responsible. People probably think you’ve got life figured out.

But there’s usually one area where things feel harder than they should. Really- it’s that the version of you you want to be and the version that shows up day to day aren’t quite the same.

This is the place where you’re working against yourself. Where motivation disappears. Where you need WAY more willpower than seems reasonable.

That friction is frustrating. And over time it destroys self-trust.

Every time you say you’ll do something and don’t follow through you’re no-showing on yourself. Just like any relationship, repeated no-shows change how much you trust someone.

Even when that someone is you.

Here’s what most people miss:

The question “Why can’t I get it together?” is based on a misunderstanding. (Isn’t that a relief?)

When something feels hard to follow through on we make it mean something about our character. I lack discipline. I’m bad at follow-through. Something is wrong with me.

But that’s not what’s actually happening.

Your actions don’t come out of nowhere. They come from how you think and how you feel.

Think about it. If you’re excited to meet a friend you can’t get your shoes on fast enough. If you’re telling yourself a workout is going to be hard your body doesn’t rush out the door.

Same person. Same day. Very different action.

What looks like a motivation problem is usually just a belief pattern running in the background.

Your brain’s primary job is survival. Keeping you safe. Conserving energy. Avoiding risk.

It is NOT designed to help you feel fulfilled or reach your potential.

So when you start moving toward something new your brain pushes back. Not because you don’t want the thing. But because it feels unfamiliar or risky.

That’s why it feels like there are two versions of you.

The future version with goals and plans. And the in-the-moment version that hesitates and opts out.

Trying to close that gap with force doesn’t work long term.

Here’s the real issue:

Your brain collected a ton of information over the years. Comments from parents. Embarrassing moments. Times you failed or disappointed someone.

A single comment like “looks like you don’t have what it takes” can turn into a global belief: I don’t have what it takes.

That belief doesn’t stay contained. It shows up everywhere. Quietly shaping what feels possible and when it feels safer to stop.

So when you don’t follow through it’s not self-sabotage. It’s self-protection.

You’re not failing to get it together. Your brain is protecting you using outdated information.

You CAN override this with willpower. Many people do. But it rarely lasts.

The good news? The brain is adaptable.

When you understand the thoughts driving your behavior and create internal safety around change things shift. Not through force. Through understanding.

And following through stops feeling like a battle.

I’m doing a workshop on Thursday where I’ll show you exactly how to work with your brain instead of against it. Here’s a link to register (and if you’re reading this later, you’ll still get a replay)

If you’ve been asking yourself why this keeps happening nothing is wrong with you. This reaction makes sense.

And you can change it.