Cecelia Baum Mandryk (00:30.258)
Hey and welcome back to Millennial Midlife. Today we’re gonna talk all about manifestation. But before I lose you, it’s not the glittery vision board kind. I wanna talk about manifestation that actually can work in your life and help you work your life. The grounded embodied science meets self sort of manifestation. So this is the kind of manifestation that doesn’t ask you to bypass emotions or fake positivity.
It’s the kind that works because you’re including your real self, your nervous system, your beliefs, your patterns, your energy. Because here’s the truth, we’re all manifesting all the time. And the question isn’t if you’re manifesting, it’s what you’re manifesting and why, and how can you start to manifest or bring things into our life intentionally? Because it’s really what we’re talking about. How do we use our brain and nervous system to intentionally bring things into our life? Especially at a time in our life when things can…
sometimes feel stagnant or full of obligations or you can list other things out here. I used to believe, I was a big skeptic of manifestation. I think I mentioned this in the last episode. I used to think it was a lot about positive thinking. I used to think it wasn’t for me or somebody who had a science background. I thought that I had to stay really high vibe, that I kind of just needed to force myself to affirmation my way and the universe would deliver.
So I did the things, right, or I tried to do the things. I honestly didn’t do all the things, right? Vision boards and affirmations particularly, and gratitude lists that felt really empty. I even tried the 3-6-9 method for a brief period of time, which felt particularly empty to me. And while sometimes it worked, although very often it didn’t really work because I was really operating from the place of not having the thing, but that’s another conversation. Most of the time it felt really forced.
Cecelia Baum Mandryk (02:16.738)
Gabby Bernstein calls this manic manifestation, like you’re trying to do all the things to get something. And I’m not even saying that a lot of people here are in that space, because I think a lot of us don’t even, we’re not even to the place where we’re trying to use manifestation, because we don’t maybe understand it. So I was trying to manifest and replace it, if I can get this thing, that I will feel safe and worthy and calm. But underneath all of it, I was trying to fix my insecurity, I was trying to be good. And here’s what I’ve learned since then.
You cannot out affirm a dysregulated nervous system. Your nervous system has to be regulated first. When your body feels unsafe, when you’re stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, your brain filters the world through that response. You don’t see possibility. You need protection, right? You don’t see possibility when you’re in that place. You’re seeking protection. You don’t believe in your higher capacity or your capabilities.
or even that things could work out for you. So instead of moving towards what you want in this place, you keep manifesting more of what you already know, right? You kind of get like the thing on repeat because your nervous system is only comfortable with what it’s familiar with, with what’s safe. And not only does it feel safe there, but it also takes less energy to do the same thing over and over again than it does to do something new. Which we know that your brain, right, the motivational triad, it likes to keep you safe. It likes to conserve energy and it likes to
give you little dopamine hits, feel good. Okay, so if you’re in midlife, you’re also probably feeling this from a different angle, right? So life starts to become a loop. The same mornings, the same routines, the same conversations, you’re doing so much yet somehow it all feels the same, or even you’re like moving towards the thing that you want, right? You’re like advancing your career and you’re doing it, but it all feels just kind of like empty and like not what you want. You love your people, you’re grateful for your life even.
maybe even really proud of what you’ve created, but sometimes it feels like you’re living the same day on repeat. And even when you imagine something new, it can feel really impossible, right? Because your plate is already full. You have responsibilities, kids, work, a partner, maybe aging parents on top of all of it. And so there’s no drop everything and move to Bali, right? And be in positive high vibe, green juice, drinking energy. Honestly, that’s probably not even what you want. You don’t…
Cecelia Baum Mandryk (04:34.006)
likely want to escape your life, but you might want to feel more alive inside your life. You might want to feel more fulfilled. You might want to feel like you’re doing work that actually lights you up in some way, or that you’re showing up as the parent or the partner that you really thought that you would be, or that life just really feels, I don’t know, more like your life, right? More exciting in some way. You want to feel inspired again, maybe, right? Connected again, calm, clear, confident. Maybe you want to stop reacting and start responding.
perhaps even show up as that version of yourself that you know is still in there, the version of yourself that you believed you would be when you were five years old or seven years old, those dreams that you had. So it’s not about wishing for a fantasy life. It’s about learning to create what you want inside of this one. A lot of us, think, sometimes also think of manifestation like, I’ll have the Ferrari and I’ll have the big beach house and whatever. And if you want the Ferrari, fine.
pretty cool cars, right? But most of us, like, I don’t want a Ferrari. Like, don’t have any place in my life for Ferrari. I don’t know where I drive it. There’s not space for all my children in it. So that’s not really on my list. And if I get into that mode of, like, ego creation and manifestation, it doesn’t feel very fulfilling. But if I step back and say, like, well, what do really want? And how do want to feel in my life? And do I believe that’s possible for me? Then some really interesting answers come up, right? This question of, like, what do you really want in life?
You don’t have to blow up your life for it to feel new. You just have to regulate your nervous system so that new experiences, new emotions, new possibilities actually feel safe to kind of receive and you can feel safe expanding into them. This has been a big theme for a couple people in some of the group recently and that like regulation is kind of the, it’s the thing, right? It’s the flex. It’s the space where we all actually, even if we don’t know we want to get there, that’s where we’re all hoping to get so that we can feel different in our lives. Okay.
When you start working with yourself, with your brain, with your body, with your nervous system, life starts to feel different. Not because you changed anything or everything on the outside, but because you changed how you are within it. And you start to see different possibilities. Your brain is in a different place. So you actually see a different reality around you. And this is how manifestation actually works, right? There’s a lot of science behind it. Your brain is bombarded. And I don’t have the numbers in front of me because I didn’t write them down, but.
Cecelia Baum Mandryk (06:58.222)
It’s bombarded with a lot of information to the point where you only, your brain filters like 99.9999 % of it, right? Like think about that for a minute. Of all the sensory information that you’re exposed to, your brain filters 99.999 % of it. And so you’re really only getting a very small piece of reality. You’re only seeing what you’re expecting to see. So when you focus on something with belief and repetition,
your brain’s reticular activating system, you value tagged it, starts to filtering the world to show you more of it. So for instance, if you have this belief that it’s not possible to be healthy in your 40s, right? I’m in my 40s, I’m a woman, there’s a lot of stuff we hear about our bodies in our 40s and what happens and like how it’s all falling apart and your back is gonna hurt and like your toenails are gonna do weird things or I don’t even, I actually have never heard a toenail thing, but I’m sure there’s something out there about that. So we hear,
If we have a belief that it’s impossible to be healthy, I can’t be healthy in my 40s, then your brain will actually filter information that is contrary to that. Isn’t that wild? Like, isn’t that just totally entirely wild that your brain will just say like, nope, not important, don’t need to do that. This is like also why if you have the belief, I didn’t do enough, if you just have this like line of code in your brain that like I should have done more, I didn’t do enough, I’m behind.
No matter what you do, no matter what you do, any day throughout your life, during a week, your brain will still say like, it’s not enough. Like, sorry, you like killed it this week. You did everything. You like knocked out the entire to do list. You got the promotion. You like are, you have the things you want and your brain will be like, not enough. That’s your reticular activating system, right? Those are your beliefs that filter everything that you see around it. This is also why motorcycles have really loud exhaust systems.
I mean, there’s like maybe people who ride motorcycles like want them to be louder and sound cooler or something, but they have them because people don’t see motorcycles, not because motorcycles aren’t there, but because they’re not expecting to see them on the road. Right? That’s just like, I think it’s so important because again, what you think is possible and what you think is acceptable for somebody like you in your stage of life,
Cecelia Baum Mandryk (09:23.182)
directly influences what you actually see in your world, the reality that you see, which is not reality, it’s just your reality through a lot of different filters. That’s what it’s showing you, right? And this is science, right? They can study this now, they’ve seen this. You can get your reticular activating system, you can get your brain to work for you. But you can only get it to work for you when you feel safe.
So when your brain scans for threat, it’s always kind of scanning for threat, right? It’s always kind of doing that to keep you safe. But when you’re dysregulated, it’s more tuned in, it’s in danger mode. Like things around me are threatening.
It’s not scanning for opportunity. It’s not in creative thinking mode. It’s not a cognitive problem solving mode. So yes, what you think matters, but regulation, nervous system regulation is what makes mindset stuff stick. It gives you the editing rights to any belief you do have. It also allows you to actually see and process the beliefs that you do have with a kind of compassion for yourself, right? So without regulation,
If you’re just saying affirmations, you’re just saying them. You’re not actually believing that it’s possible for you because believing it’s possible for you has to come from a place of regulation. That’s where you get to change things. That’s where you get to imagine something different for your life. This is why you can repeat affirmations forever and ever and feel nothing. It’s your body’s in a board game. And I do think there is a space where if you are regulated and you don’t totally believe something, you can use affirmations to get your brain there. So that’s not what I’m saying. But what I am saying is that
There’s this kind of sweet spot of being in regulation which opens up the capacity to have new beliefs that is not available to you if you’re not in regulation. Manifestation isn’t about visualizing harder, right? It’s about regulating first, creating safety in your body, and then understanding what is it that I really want. If nobody was gonna be mad at me, if nobody had an opinion, if nothing was like wrong,
Cecelia Baum Mandryk (11:44.13)
what would I really truly want in this life? And not the quick fix, like, just want a glass of wine and some Doritos, right? It’s like, no, what do I actually really want? How do I want to feel in life? That question. Okay, so I think that regulation is one of these things that it’s best experienced, and we’re on a podcast right now, and maybe you’re driving or walking, but I think for the most part we can do this, right? So if you want to play along, and this is just gonna take
a minute or so. So take a few, take like one or two breaths where you like do the like, breathe in like a big deep breath and like make the sigh sound for the exhale. And then see if you can move to nasal breathing and see if you can breathe slowly into your belly if possible. using diaphragmatic breathing. So you’re breathing in and then breathing out.
Cecelia Baum Mandryk (12:40.952)
breathing in.
Breathing out.
Breath in slowly, gently. Breath out slowly, gently.
Breath in.
Cecelia Baum Mandryk (13:03.032)
breath out. And now keep breathing in your own pace, seeing if you can keep it slow and gentle.
And as you’re here, you might remind yourself you’re safe.
And then you could start to ask yourself, if anything was possible today, if any feeling was possible, any manifestation was possible, how would I want to feel today? How would I want today to go? How would I want to feel in the next 15 minutes? What’s something I want to call in?
And notice what’s happening in your body as you start to call these things in. If there’s stories that say, that’s not possible or that can’t happen for you. And then see if you can come back and remind yourself you’re safe.
Take a few more breaths. And you can say to yourself, hear you. Thanks for the information.
Cecelia Baum Mandryk (13:57.166)
And now not only might I have a lived experience of being slightly calmer, but I also understand some of the thoughts that are getting in the way of the things I really want.
And that sort of, you can come back to yourself wherever you are, that sort of small practice where we integrate regulation with some of these questions that are very commonly asked around manifesting starts to become a lot different and more productive, not in a capitalist productive way, but useful in your life when you work together there. So.
When I was forcing manifest, I’ve had both extremes, right? I was forcing, trying to force manifestation, pushing, hustling, trying to stay high vibe. I was, it was like not fun. And I wasn’t bringing in anything that I liked to be totally honest. But when I stepped back into regulation and trusting myself, that’s when things softened. That’s when it became easier. That’s when it felt more natural. That’s when I also got to understand what it was that I actually really wanted. Right? There are moments where things flowed more effortlessly. Like, and this happened on two different occasions with jobs for me where I
I needed, well, one time I just wanted a different job and another time I felt like, I need some money. I was just like, I have been a worker, I work. So I believe that money comes through working. And that space was really able to get clear on what I wanted from a job and be able to call it in within a week, right? And that’s not magic, it’s alignment and safety and belief in what’s possible for me in that moment. Okay.
I think I’d be remiss to say if there wasn’t like a spiritual layer, because I think that there’s always this connection. And I want to be careful with words here because people have, there’s a lot of baggage around words and we talk about the spiritual side. So you can call it, you can call it whatever you want to, right? Love, like universal energy, stardust, God, whatever it is for you. But I think that
Cecelia Baum Mandryk (15:58.37)
This idea of redemption and resurrection aren’t about escaping life, they’re about being fully alive within it, right? That we can actually be alive in our life right now. We can have the experience of joy and real connection when we allow it right now in this part of our life. Okay, so if you’ve been trying to manifest or if you’ve been wanting to work with your brain differently, honestly, and it hasn’t been working.
It’s not because you’re doing it wrong. It’s because no one ever taught you how to include your body or how to do this regulation component of it, right? So I have a three-day workshop that’s coming up or will just be passed when this comes out. But you can get the replay. So it’s manifestation that actually works. And it’s really gonna go dive deeper into this so that you can use it in your life. If you’ve ever been to one of my workshops, you know that I give out a lot of actionable tools and ways to use this in your life.
So you’ll walk away with ways to actually do this in your life. So it’s the same thing, like science meets self-approach to creating what you want without forcing, without faking, without bypassing yourself. So we’ll talk about regulating your nervous system so your body feels safe receiving, rewiring beliefs so your brain starts noticing what’s truly possible and reconnecting with your worthiness.
Because manifestation really isn’t about trying harder, right? It’s about feeling safe enough to let what you want arrive and believing that you can actually feel different in the life that you have if you want to. It’s such a pleasure to be here today. Thank you for being here today, and I will see you the next time I see you.
