Cecelia Baum Mandryk (00:24.396)

Let me ask you this, have you ever sat down at the end of a day, looked around at your life, the career, the family, the house, and thought, why doesn’t this feel better? Do you ever feel guilty for not being more grateful because you look around at all you have and all you’ve done and think, who am I to complain? Have you ever wondered quietly or perhaps loudly to yourself, is this all there is? Do you ever feel trapped in endless obligations and expectations thinking, where am I in all of this?

 

And have you ever looked around and thought, I’m where I hustled to, and it doesn’t feel like I thought it would. Where exactly, when exactly do I get to enjoy life? If you’ve ever felt that way, you’re not broken, you’re not alone, and this podcast and this episode are for you. I know these thoughts very well because they were and sometimes still are my thoughts. I grew up believing that perfection was the only way to be worthy, so I checked all the boxes. I thought I needed…

 

I needed to check, right? All the rules. I followed all of them. I got good grades. I went to the right schools. I got the big job. I got the apartment people envied. I got to the proverbial there a few times. And on the outside, it looked like I had it all. And it looked like I had it all together. But on the inside, I felt mostly empty. The occasional boost from wine shopping or vacation fuel dopamine or, you know, the daily social scroll. I remember thinking a lot, this can’t be it, can it?

 

This isn’t all there is, followed by an immediate, who do you think you are to complain? Look at how good you have it. I felt really trapped in that cycle of discontent and then shaming myself for feeling discontent and trying to check more boxes to feel good again. It felt a little bit like I was climbing a mountain. I would reach the top and realize this maybe wasn’t the right mountain because I didn’t feel like I was supposed to feel, and then I would doubt myself. I’d think maybe something was wrong with me.

 

This is what I’m supposed to want, right? Maybe I didn’t follow the directions or maybe I just needed to double down and get another promotion or another win before happiness and contentment finally arrived. Because while I felt like I’d made it, or it looked like I’d made it, it sure didn’t feel like it on the inside. So for a long time, I thought I was the only one who felt this way, but I wasn’t and I’m not. And if you feel this way too, neither are you. Okay, so my story is not honestly very dramatic or unusual.

 

Cecelia Baum Mandryk (02:47.352)

think it’s actually pretty mundane and it’s pretty common. And I only realized this after talking with people and working with people. I realized how common that feeling of dissatisfaction is and how the feeling of and how feeling alone or how alone we can feel in that dissatisfaction. Because so many of us checked all the boxes we saw them, we tried to get there. And then we got there and it didn’t feel very good. So for me, this cycle went on for a while.

 

as it does in life, right? You’ve probably been there too if you’re listening to this and you’re any place in the middle of life, right? From your 20s to your 60s. And eventually I realized that something, I’ve realized something that changes everything. That happiness, peace, and a grounded sense of self don’t live outside of me. They can’t be handed to me. I couldn’t buy them. They couldn’t be awarded to me. It was from no external validation. They had to be practiced and they had to come from within.

 

Now, this is not a new concept, right? There are whole traditions built around this idea. I even had read a lot of books explaining this, but it was new to me because I finally knew it in my life. It was no longer an intellectual concept. It was something that I really knew deep in my bones that actually what I wanted and how I wanted to feel couldn’t come from outside of me. I had to create them myself. So when I saw that, I really knew it within me.

 

I also saw how much of my life had been shaped by stories I didn’t even choose. So stories about success and what goodness is for my family, for my culture, from society, even endless scrolling on social media and what they told me I was supposed to have and want. Stories about who I was supposed to be, what I should look like, how I should show up, what a good life looks like. And if you’re still listening, I’m guessing you’ve had those too, right? You have these stories from people and places around you about how you’re supposed to be.

 

I also had this idea and I’m guessing you also probably have this idea that if I fulfilled those roles, I would feel happy, content and satisfied. I would feel accomplished. I would have a good life and I would feel good in it. And honestly, I think this is what the middle of life crisis is all about. I say middle of life because mine happened at the end of my 20s and I work with women from their 20s to their 60s. So it’s not that it’s just in the midlife, right? It’s the whole middle part of life.

 

Cecelia Baum Mandryk (05:08.416)

And this crisis, think, is about recognizing that we don’t feel like us in our own lives. We are everything to everyone, and yet we no show on ourselves over and over again. Often we get to a place where we no longer know ourselves or know what we want or know how to have fun or even rest, right? We feel like we try and lie down on the couch and just do nothing and our brain starts rolling with everything that we haven’t accomplished or everything we need to do and we feel like we have to jump up and do it.

 

And then we procrastinate doing those things too. And we get to this place not because we’re broken or because we did a really

 

We don’t get to this place because we’re broken. We get to this place because we actually do a really good job of becoming conditioned. Your human brain did exactly what it is trained to do, which is to absorb ideas and make inferences to help you survive. The really amazing news for me and also for you is that you can actually break free from this conditioning. And honestly, life might not look that different on the other side of this, but it feels really different.

 

breaking free from this condition. Sometimes it’s messy conditioning. Sometimes it’s messy. It’s not often very glamorous and it’s usually not very quick, but it works. And that’s why I created this podcast because I know so many women are waking up saying, I wish life felt different. I wish I felt different. When does it change? When do I get to feel free, happy and love with life? When do I actually get to feel okay with myself? That’s why I started Millennial Midlife.

 

because I actually believe that our generation is a bridge, the millennials. And I know that there are people who are older than millennials and younger than millennials listening, and I’m so happy to have you here. But I think the work that we are doing, women in the middle part of life, we’re the ones who get to stop doing it the old way, burning out, proving, striving, and start creating a new way, leading with compassion, presence, and wholeness. And like it or not,

 

Cecelia Baum Mandryk (07:05.198)

Most of us millennials are entering middle age. turned 40 last year. I’m turning 41 just before this podcast relaunches. But we’re the leaders now and we’re making the rules for ourselves in the next generation. And let’s make them intentionally, right? And to make them intentionally, first we have to figure out the rules that we have in our own brains. We have to learn and practice compassion, presence, grounded confidence so that we can steer our own boats and then we can steer the entire big boat around.

 

right? Degree by degree. So yes, we’re the DIY generation, but here’s the truth, you don’t have to do this alone. There are skills, there are tools, there are practices. I’ve learned them, I teach them, and they’ve changed my life, and they’ve changed my clients’ lives, and they can change yours too. So here’s what you’re going to find in this podcast. Think of this as an honest, up-leveled conversation with a girlfriend, somewhere between therapy and coaching, with science-backed tools and time-tested practices that actually help you feel different.

 

Right? I know that there are so many books, there’s so many podcasts that talk about these practices, but I think one of my skill sets is actually helping you implement them in your life. And that’s what we’re doing here. You can also think of this as a safe place and a place that you’ll be invited to see your own stuff and work with it so that you can actually be and feel different because seeing it, seeing yourself honestly is actually so important to making changes. And that’s where the tools come in.

 

science, ancient wisdom, side by side. Some weeks I’ll do short solo episodes, stories, practices, things you can use right away. Other weeks I’m going to bring in thoughtful guests for real conversations about this stage of life and what we’re going through. Down the road I’ll also be answering your questions, coaching you through what the middle of life is throwing your way. Every episode will give you one thing to take away into your real messy beautiful life, a practice or a reframe or an aha moment that sticks with you.

 

And my hope is actually quite simple, that a year from now, if you keep listening and curiously looking inwards, you’ll be softer with yourself, kinder with others, steadier when life gets hard, more joyful, more present, more open to life when it is good. So if you’ve ever asked, is this all there is? The answer is no, there’s so much more and together we can find it. Welcome to Millennial Midlife. I’m so glad you’re here and I’m so ready to dive in with you.