Breaking Free from “Should’s”: The First Step out of Autopilot

September 25, 2025 - Season 2, Episode 2

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Were you the “good girl” growing up, the one who followed the rules, got the grades, and kept everyone happy? Fast forward to adulthood, and maybe those same rules now leave you exhausted, resentful, and disconnected.

In this episode of Millennial Midlife, Cecelia unpacks the hidden “rule books” we carry, the endless lists of shoulds that keep us stuck on autopilot. She shares how these rules are wired into our brains for safety and belonging, why they feel so hard to break, and the first step toward freedom: learning to name them. You’ll learn simple ways to notice your shoulds in the wild, reframe obligations, and shift from autopilot to conscious choice, so you can begin living with more authenticity, calm, and self-trust. If you’ve ever ended the day full of resentment but still driven by guilt, this episode is for you.

Topics:

  • The “good girl” conditioning and how it shapes adult behavior
  • How childhood rule books turn into adult shoulds that feel like survival
  • The emotional cost of living by shoulds: guilt, resentment, shame, exhaustion
  • The brain’s “legacy code” and how it keeps old rules running on autopilot
  • Practical steps to notice and name your shoulds
  • How naming the rules opens the door to freedom and authentic choice

Episode Resources:

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About Your Host

I’m Cecelia, and I am passionate about helping people live the life they want to live and feel how they want to feel in their life. We do this together using mindset tools, nervous system regulation, and curious inquiry. I know that enjoying your life, feeling calm and even joyful is available to you.

If you’re ready to start right now, grab a recent workshop replay here on creating momentum.

Personally, I manifest in many ways- partner, mother, coach, sister, friend, daughter, citizen, feminist. I live with my husband and children way downeast Maine on a little bridge-connected island (after spending my first 35 years in cities). It’s beautiful here with the ocean and the wind.

I help my clients make big and small changes in life one step at a time.

No matter what’s happening in your life right now, I know you can feel different. I know that by working with your brain and nervous system, you can feel calm, content, joyful, AND you can still go after the big and small goals in your life (getting there will just feel different).

This process is simple and approachable.

You’re probably thinking- but it won’t work for me. I’ve tried it all or I was recently diagnosed with ADHD or I’m too old. But I promise, if you’re open to it, this work is not only transformative but suited for so many different kinds of people and brains.

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