Cecelia Baum Mandryk (00:06.85)
This week we’re talking about something that comes up nearly every January if not at different points throughout the year With every new job with every new season. It’s getting organized But I want to offer you something that might feel a little bit uncomfortable But also really freeing if you’re willing to hear it and it’s that you don’t have a systems problem You don’t have a brain problem either but you do have a self-concept and a safety problem and until those two things shift no planner no app no
physical thing that you look at, nothing on your phone, nothing on your computer, no time management course is really going to stick. Okay. So this came up and the reason why I’m recording this is I was having this one-on-one session with a client and she’s a respected executive. She’s brilliant at what she does, but she was noticing or she just kind of mentioned in an offhand like before we were really starting chatting that her office was a mess.
and that there were piles and notes scribbled on the back of envelopes and kind of on post-it notes and important to-dos were written on scraps of paper. And then occasionally she would lose them. And she was feeling a little embarrassed, like she didn’t even want me to see her office. She also wondered if this was too small or too silly for coaching. And the interesting thing is that when we started noticing the disorganization, we noticed how that it actually spiked when their success increased in their new job.
Cecelia Baum Mandryk (02:14.182)
So she felt a little embarrassed. She felt like it might be too small. She also was just kind of like, I don’t work in a linear way. Like this is just how my brain is. And I’m going to say this isn’t about laziness for her or you. It’s not about disorganization. It’s probably not even about ADD or your neurodivergence. And I get it, right? Like my brain is very likely, although not diagnosed neurodivergent. And it’s not necessarily all about that. Yes, there are components of that that will
play into this, but there’s a bigger issue, a foundational issue that’s more important at the beginning. And it’s not about getting a prettier planner. It’s not about getting the latest system, right? It’s about figuring out how to work with your brain. It’s about your brain protecting you from something that actually feels very unsafe. So many high achievers and high achieving women, since that’s the space we’re in, carry subconscious beliefs like being successful makes me a target. If I shine too brightly, something bad will happen.
People expect more from me. Success means more pressure, visibility, criticism. And we’re also socially conditioned to kind of play a little bit lower, right? We’re like, this is actually a safer place to be. This is where we’re supposed to be. And we get that reinforced in school. We get it reinforced from media. We get it reinforced. You’re not supposed to be at the top. And even if that’s not the thing for you, that’s likely what it was.
I don’t want to go into personal details for this person, right? But there’s a reason why you are disorganized. And the primary reason is, without actually knowing you personally, is that being organized for some reason feels threatening to your brain. If nothing else, then it contradicts your concept of yourself of being disorganized. I want to say that again, right? Like the primary reason that you are disorganized is for some reason,
being organized feels unsafe to your brain. And I get it. You could just be like, I’m a disorganized person. This is nothing, something I’ve done. But you do understand having listened to this podcast, even if this is your first episode, I’m going to get, this is very important. If you believe that you are a disorganized person, you cannot be organized no matter how many planners you buy, no matter how many systems you try, no matter how good you try to get at Notion.
Cecelia Baum Mandryk (04:31.692)
You will not be organized because your brain has to confirm your primary belief that you are disorganized person. Okay. So for this particular person, things started to go well at the new job. Their brain and I’m not in their brain, right? But what happens is if we have a story about success being bad or even being organized isn’t who I am. As soon as we start to get organized, our brain feels a little bit uncomfortable. First of all, it takes energy to do something new. Second of all, this doesn’t
jive with the identity that has kept you safe. And so the brain says, let’s like revert. Let’s go back to the mean. Reversion to the mean is such a big thing in our brain when we’re not working to create safety in our nervous system. Reversion to your mean will always happen if you’re not creating safety through change. And this is why people yo-yo diet. This is why people feel like they’ve gotten the habit of flossing their teeth really down and then it goes away.
This is why people get the new organizer and they’re gung-ho for six weeks and then they stop using it. And it has nearly a year of unused pages in it, right? And so for you, if you were this kind of person, it might mean that all of a sudden you were like just a little bit late to a certain meeting or maybe you were like a little bit late on a deadline or you almost missed a call or you weren’t totally prepared in the way. And in fact, this keeps you in this place where you’re…
you’re doing okay, but you’re never excelling. You’re never kind going to the next level. You’re never kind of growing. So every January, people buy gorgeous planners. And I have like, I will raise my hand if you’re not watching me on YouTube, I raise my hand. This is me, right? Like I have bought planners. had piles of journals. I’ve used apps. I’ve gotten the like beautiful pens and the like the little stencils that you can use for bullet journaling.
Because of course the only thing keeping me from using my bullet journal is having like a beautiful stencil or having better handwriting, right? Of course that’s the reason, right? I mean, that’s what we tell ourselves. But then by February or if you’re like me and suddenly get the urge in June, by July or actually like a week later, honestly, I’m thinking like, I’m just not organized. This just isn’t how my brain works. This isn’t that helpful for me. I’m naturally messy. I just don’t stick with things.
Cecelia Baum Mandryk (06:51.95)
All systems work. And I can’t say that, I mean, I guess I can’t say that categorically. Like there’s probably some organizational system out there that might not work for a person. But I will say that probably 99.9 % of systems work for some number of people, right? And we can actually say that that’s where you could figure out which system actually works for you because I do believe that our brains work differently and what works for you might not work for me and vice versa. But the more important thing to work with before we find that system
is actually shifting the thinking. Right? So for instance, I have to hold everything in my brain. We’ll keep you holding everything in your brain. Or I always forget, or I’m just not that organized of a person. I’m not a linear thinking. I’m not a linear thinker, right? Understanding the self-concept that you have now that is leading to you being quote unquote disorganized, because you’re probably actually not that disorganized. And understanding
why it feels dangerous for your brain to change. Right, because your brain will continue to, and I’m using air quotes here, self-sabotage you, will continue to sabotage you, will continue to revert to its own mean, not because it wants you to fail, but because it wants you to stay the same. It wants you to stay in the familiar. And the familiar is writing important to-dos on little Post-it notes or back of envelopes, and then occasionally misplacing one. It knows that. It feels comfortable with that identity. And so,
once we understand why it feels dangerous to not be organized, to not make the shift, then all of a sudden you can start to work with yourself. So your brain likes to stay in what’s familiar, what’s safe, what matches your identity. And if for any reason being organized feels foreign, it’s it’s vulnerable, it’s high pressure, it’s too visible, it’s tied to any version of you that got criticized or punished or for whatever.
totally illogical reason. It feels bad for some reason, like maybe somebody was organized and you heard a parent criticize them in some way and your brain picked up like organization is bad, right? Doesn’t always make sense. This is the real reason that organization doesn’t stick. And you can also apply this to anything else if getting organized isn’t on your priority list. Okay, so let’s talk about…
Cecelia Baum Mandryk (09:14.124)
where your nervous system ties into this. And I’ve already been talking about safety, right? But if you’re trying to get organized and use willpower and force to use, for instance, a planner or finally figure out how to use Notion, but your system feels threatened in some way, it is activated in some way, things will feel like a threat. Doing something different will feel like a threat. And so you can try and use force. can try to finally get on top of things. You can try, like, you can do the like, everything’s changing Monday thing, right, routine. I used to do that a lot, like.
I’m gonna be a new person on Monday. I’m gonna be totally different. I’m gonna do everything right. I’m gonna use my planner and check my little boxes and I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna start doing it then. And it never works, right? Because again, it also doesn’t feel safe. So the safety component is actually recognizing those little moments when you start to try and do something where your nervous system feels unsafe and regulating and making space and processing in that moment. So validating yourself.
in that moment so that you can actually feel safe. And this is something that I do with people. I teach you how to do this when you work with me more closely, right? We get into the how, the nitty gritty of this. So what can you do if you actually want to be organized in 2026? First, amazing, you identified a desire you want. I’d love to be more organized. Understand why you want to be more organized. Why I think being organized will help me feel a certain way or it will help me achieve these things. Understand where that’s coming from because
you will then understand if you’re using it as a try a way to try and like create safety for yourself or try and create acceptance for yourself or if it’s something else. And even if it is one of those first ones, now you understand, my actual desire is I want to be liked or I want to be successful. And you think great. So now instead of why does getting organized feel threatening is why does being successful feel threatening? Because your brain is equating organized with successful and then
being successful is the thing we really need to dive into. So why is it not a match for me to move forward? Why does it make sense that this feels threatening? What are my logical or illogical reasons for not actually wanting to do this? What bad things would happen if I became organized? So if you start to answer some of these questions, you’ll get a clue as to what’s happening in your brain. And again, this is what we do in coaching. Somebody comes and they say,
Cecelia Baum Mandryk (11:33.42)
I want to get organized and I failed the last 70 planners I’ve bought. And we say, great, you’re in good company. Let’s dive in. You also want to normalize the fear, right? That’s what I was just talking about with the validation. Like, my brain is just protecting me here. That’s why I skipped five days of my planner. I get it. I understand it brain. I’m here for you. And I can start to work with you. And then we start to gently shift your identity, right? You start to create latter thoughts. You start to try and shift the
I am disorganized into something slightly different, not a 180 to I am organized or the queen of organization, but something slightly smaller. And again, this is something we do in coaching. And then just forget like the whole system for now, right? Stick with the nervous system and identity work and then start slowly to create some structure in it using micro rituals, right? When you start to become the person who, for instance,
I don’t know, writes down like appointments in a calendar instead of like doing everything all at once. And it slowly starts to change. You slowly start to become the person who uses a planner or Notion or whatever it is that you actually want to use. And understand that organization can be an act of connecting with yourself, an act of self love, an act of revelation, not a performance for other people.
So like who cares if you have a dirty desk or messy desk, but like also if you want to clean desk, understand why you want it and how to get there. Okay, your disorganization is not a flaw. It’s not a problem even, but it might be a story that your brain is trying to protect you, like an identity your brain is keeping you in. It might be also a way that you’re staying smaller, whatever, right? I can’t totally tell you exactly why you’re doing it right now.
But just know that if you have tried to get organized before and you have failed, there’s very likely a safety and self-concept component of it that you have not addressed. It is not always about the action. The action obviously is something we do, but the self-concept and the safety are so much more powerful. And then the actions just flow from that. Okay, in the Life Lab, this is what we work on. We coach, we figure out what’s happening with your nervous system, what’s happening in your brain, how do we get patterns to stick. If you wanna feel different in 2026,
Cecelia Baum Mandryk (13:46.71)
If you want to actually get organized and you want to do it in a way that feels really holistic to you, come join me. I promise it will be fun. I promise that you will make massive changes in your life and you’ll get to know yourself and love yourself along the way. And I cannot think of a better thing to give yourself for 2026. I hope you have a beautiful day. Thank you so much for being here and I will see you next time.
