Episode 5: Why Positive Thinking Doesn’t work (for most of us)

January 24, 2023

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Calmer+Conversations with Cecelia Mandryk

5. Why Positive Thinking Doesn’t Work (For Most Of Us)

Episode Summary: 

Happiness is often on the same playing field as positivity, but positive thinking usually leads to feelings of shame or disappointment. What I like to practice instead is shifting to a place of neutrality in an effort to take away the inherent judgment and inaccessibility of false positivity. On today’s episode, I explore the nuances of positive thinking, share examples of what toxic positivity looks like in action, and explain how to get out of that cycle. 

Show Notes:

Happiness is often on the same playing field as positivity, but positive thinking usually leads to feelings of shame or disappointment. What I like to practice instead is shifting to a place of neutrality and using a ‘thought ladder’ technique to eventually get to a place where I feel genuine contentment. On today’s episode, I explore the nuances of positive thinking, share examples of what toxic positivity looks like in action, and explain how to get out of that cycle. 

How many times have you heard phrases like “fake it ‘til you make it” or “put on a happy face”? There’s an inherent judgment and inaccessibility to masking your hard-to-feel emotions, and I believe that it actually does more harm than good. When you try to embody happiness without truly feeling it, you start to bypass and gaslight yourself. 

I break down my go-to techniques for processing emotionally challenging situations and finding a sense of peace. I get into the dangers of glossing over complex issues and also illustrate times in my personal life where this principle has come up. Listen in to learn more about how positive thinking isn’t always the solution to improving your mindset. 

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or on your favorite podcast platform. 

Topics Covered:

  • The difference between positive psychology and positive thinking 

  • How demonizing negative emotions actually keeps us from being happy 

  • Recognizing when you’re relying on false positivity 

  • Noticing bodily shifts when you practice neutrality 

  • Rethinking positive affirmations

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About Your Host

I’m Cecelia, and I am passionate about helping people live the life they want to live and feel how they want to feel in their life. We do this together using mindset tools, nervous system regulation, and curious inquiry. I know that enjoying your life, feeling calm and even joyful is available to you.

If you’re ready to start right now, grab a recent workshop replay here on creating momentum.

Personally, I manifest in many ways- partner, mother, coach, sister, friend, daughter, citizen, feminist. I live with my husband and children way downeast Maine on a little bridge-connected island (after spending my first 35 years in cities). It’s beautiful here with the ocean and the wind.

I help my clients make big and small changes in life one step at a time.

No matter what’s happening in your life right now, I know you can feel different. I know that by working with your brain and nervous system, you can feel calm, content, joyful, AND you can still go after the big and small goals in your life (getting there will just feel different).

This process is simple and approachable.

You’re probably thinking- but it won’t work for me. I’ve tried it all or I was recently diagnosed with ADHD or I’m too old. But I promise, if you’re open to it, this work is not only transformative but suited for so many different kinds of people and brains.

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